wanker

–noun, chiefly British and Australian slang: vulgar

1. a contemptible person; jerk

2. a male masturbator

3. a person (foreign, usually German) who visits a Spanish theme park on a boiling hot day, well aware that some of the rides and indeed most of the fun to be derived from the experience is getting soaked to the bone on log flumes and laughing along with the rest of the family, but insists nevertheless on handing over another five euros for a shitty plastic mackintosh which results solely in the subject looking like a prize cunt.