…probably.

More so if you run a business. Then it’s an absolute certainty.

You only have to do one thing well if you’re in business. Just one. Look after your customers. That’s it. Nothing else. Get this one thing right, and success is almost certainly yours. You’ll be able to shit on a plate and pay somebody to lick it clean.

It shouldn’t be difficult. It’s not, to be honest. Yet it evades so many in this world. My world. In the past 24 hours, my life has been blighted by such companies and individuals.

My bank, for example. They’re cunts. I ordered a credit card from them three weeks ago. It hasn’t arrived. I did try telling them this after a week and a half, but apparently I have to wait up to ten days for it to arrive after dispatch. I suggested any piece of first class mail that hasn’t arrived after four or five days, isn’t arriving at all. I was also told last week I’d have a replacement card couriered to me.

Today I was informed that whoever told me this was an idiot and the bank would do no such thing. They’d also not able to send a card to me in time for my trip abroad next week, which was the whole point of ordering it in the first place.

Thank you Natwest.

My builder. He’s a cunt too. I gave him a lengthy list of work that needed completing, to the tune of two grand. Instead, he completed none of of the jobs I asked for, and lots of other work that didn’t need doing but he still wants paying for nonetheless.

Thank you Mark.

My domain registration service. They’re all cunts. Every last one of them. I asked for a domain name to be transferred from an old account to a new account. I supplied them with all the information they required to do so. The result? They sit on their arses and wank like chimps – I’m only guessing at the detail here – allowing my domain registration to lapse and some thieving cuntish bastard to steal it for their own use.

Thank you Easyspace.

Yes, the British resolve dictates we put up with mediocrity and shitty service without making too much fuss, but not today. If you do run a business and I happen to be one of your customers, you have a choice. Either do it properly or I’ll find you, and I’ll kill you. Twice.